5/12/06

Wow! I can't believe it has been almost a year since I posted on this site. A lot of changes in my life since I posted last! I changed jobs, my mother-in-law became ill and is in a nursing home now, I got a new vehicle - an Escape Hybrid, I have two new men in my life - my "children" - carpoolers - a blessing now, with the price of gas being so high! My friend - a lost love - got married within the last year. We are remodeling our kitchen - which currently looks like a skeleton since the drywall has all been removed for plumbing and electrical work.

What can I say? Do I have stress in my life or what? Of course, winter is the absolute worst time for me to try to lose weight! It is freezing cold and all I wanted to do is eat. This year was a record breaker for days of rain and snowfall in the mountains. I had no motivation to exercise.

I am most definitely a "summer person"! As a result - I gained 10 horrible pounds, that will probably take me the entire summer to get rid of. Talk about miserable. None of my clothes fit comfortably any more. My "self talk" is all negative.

Thank goodness, summer is on it's way and I am more motivated to eat salads and exercise. The craving for sweets and fatty foods is less. But then, my metabolism is probably lower too - I can't win no matter how hard I try.

I am however, once again, resolved to get down to a healtier weight for my height!

I'm Hanging in There - 7-3-05

It has been a "hell weekend". Major stress - which for me is major tempation. But the kind of stress I've had is making me not want to eat - so that is a good thing. The warm weather helps - I'm focusing on eating fruit today.

Had a "major no pie discussion" with my Hubby yesterday - he wanted to get me a pie - apparently it was a "free" one - I told him "NO" several times - so he said he would get himself a pie - I told him to save the "free" one for later - not now - but he wanted to get it now. I have not eaten any of it (he got fresh peach and a fresh strawberry). The strawberry is not a temptation to me at all - since it makes me sick. I am proud of myself for being firm and not giving in no matter how persistent he was. I told him if he got me one - I was absolutely NOT going to eat any of it - so to either save the "free" coupon - or buy something he wanted for himself. I bought myself some fresh peaches - which are yummy! So the peach pie is not a temptation to me.

My dog got really sick yesterday - so spending an all day and all night vigil - kept me focused on that. She died this morning - so I've been in mourning pretty much all day. Amazing how much energy - life she brought to the house - it is much too quiet around here now. My other dog is very quiet by nature - and of course she is sad too. She was with us for 11 1/2 years - a big chunk of my life. I got her when I was going through a very difficult personal situation - she helped me get through that time . That is a memory I can cherish forever.

Even though it was humid today - I did 45 minutes of step aerobics and 30 minutes of weight lifting (endurance and strength training). The exercise helps me stabilize my weight better.

First Day 7-1-05

I stepped on the dreaded scale this morning - haven't done that for quite some time. It is really something that I must do every day - it must become an obsession with me - if I slack off from it - that is when I get "into trouble". I was pleasantly surprised - my weight wasn't as high as I was expecting it to be (based on how tight my jeans fit/feel). So it's not like I have to start all over again. Maybe by catching the weight gain earlier this time, I can get myself back into control better this time.

I will try anything. I read recently where drinking milk twice a day was an effective way of controlling weight (wonder if that study was sponsored by the dairy council?). I am not normally a milk drinker. I do eat yogurt on a regular basis (carb controlled - sugar free), and regularly indulge in cheese. The weight control benefit of milk apparently has something to do about the calcium in the milk - but that just taking a calcium pill is not as effective as drinking the milk - apparently the milk has other chemicals in it that make it more effective (?).

Re: why sugar free? - I won't buy anything with high fructose corn syrup in it - since that is one of the chemicals/food ingredients that is being blamed for the obesity epidemic. I also try to avoid anything with sugar - sugar derivative ingredients in them.

Anyway, I went to Smart and Final today to stock up on some items I needed for the month. I saw the gallon containers of milk - and proceeded to buy not one, but two gallons of nonfat/skim milk (once I make a decision - I never do anything half way - it's all or nothing). Since I know I won't drink that much milk in a million years - I also bought a package of 10 ounce styrofoam cups and lids to fit them. When I got home I measured out the milk into the styrofoam cups and put them in the freezer - I can pull out two a day (or if I use yogurt - then just one per day).

I have not exercised vigorously today - the reason is because it is 103 today - I just can't find the energy to do it. I don't have air conditioning - just fans. It should be cooler tomorrow - so will for sure tomorrow.

One of the major problems I have is my husband "force feeding" me. He always feels like he needs to share - if he wants a pie - he thinks he has to get me one too - even if I tell him I don't want one - or say "please don't buy me one" - or "no thank you" - he does it anyway. I think I need to be more firm and refuse to eat it when he does buy me one. I feel guilty wasting food! Of course it is my favorite pie - so it is a huge temptation. But I need to be firm - maybe if he sees that I'm not going to eat it - he will stop!

Nobody forces the food into my mouth.

I have a Chinese employee - she is always talking to me about "desire". She says that "desire" is a "deadly sin" - wanting what you shouldn't or can't have - causes you to become obsessed with whatever it is that you desire. I think this is one of the principles of Buddhism and meditation - to try to eliminate or minimize the "desire" monster. Something I need help with for sure.

I bought some low carb cereal - but wasn't drinking milk at the time - was using low carb yogurt smoothies. This is something that came to me during a period of contemplation. I was wanting to eat cereal again - but really wanted to avoid the carbs of the milk/cereal combination. So I was thinking about the low carb yogurt smoothies and how it is really just milk with fruit in it and a lot of people like to add fruit to their cereal. Well, I started doing that for breakfast in the morning at work. My co-workers were kind of appalled at first - but then said - why not.

The next time I went to the store - guess what - no more low carb smoothies - just non-fat yogurt smoothies - full of high fructose corn syrup smoothies - I was so upset - I "dumped" all over the poor sales clerk - He didn't say a word - just handed me a complaint postcard. He told me to fill it out and send it in - that the store was pretty good about responding to complaints. So far = no low carb smoothies - but my husband did say that somebody called and talked to him about it - he told them they had a wrong number - but they did say they were "working on" getting them back into stock. We shall see - I sure do hope I see them there again real soon!

I guess one advantage of hot weather - you really don't feel like eating much. But you also don't feel like moving either!

The Color Red

As you may have noticed my blog name is Rainbow, and I am using rainbow colors to name each of my blogs. To get this one started, I did some research on the color red. This blog will chronicle my ongoing challenges and frustrations related to my attempts at controlling my weight. I think the color red is the appropriate color to use to illustrate this struggle. My birthday is in July; my birthstone is Ruby. This is a very personal challenge that has lasted most of my lifetime.

I am a Registered Dietitian, with a Master's Degree in Nutrition. This makes this struggle even more public, because as a "Nutrition Expert", I am expected to "set an example" for the public that I serve. My perception is that people in general think that because I have the knowledge that weight control and other nutrition issues should somehow "come naturally" to me; not unlike other professionals that "set an example" for others to follow. I am scrutinized on what I eat, my physical activity, and how I look. The truth is, I am the same as anyone else that shares this challenge.

I have been lucky, I think, in that my "weight problem" hasn't affected my ability to find professional positions in my field.

So, tomorrow - I start once again...this time I will succeed...

The Color Red

This is not meant to be a comprehensive study on the meanings of the color red, it is more of an overview. Colors have meaning in many different contexts such as culture, religion, psychology, and art. I will summarize some of them here.

Culture:
Red is the color most commonly found in national flags.

West - respresents anger, vital emotions and sexuality.

East - Happiness, marriage, prosperity

Chinese Feng Shui - red is the luckiest color and is connected with the fire element. It is the most yang of all the elements. Red is the primary color for all festivities. In Feng Shui red represents South or the 'fame' sector in the 'bagua' or floor plan of a building. Red symbolizes rising 'chi', heat, reputation, increasing energy, expansion, living color, auspicious color, healthy cells and blood, life energy, vitality, and aids vitality.

Red represents the first chakra or the seat of all life energies in humans and is seen as the luckiest of all colors. Red activates and vitalizes all other energies when used properly.

It is believed that the color red will intensify or "ignite" any desired outcome. Therefore, by placing a written wish, or money in a Chinese red envelope, your wish or dream will be actualized.

Chinese babies are given their names at a red-egg ceremony.

Also, when giving gifts, if the gift is placed in a Chinese red envelope, the good luck goes to the giver of the gift, as well as, the receiver of the gift. Good luck travels in both directions.

Egypt - The ancient Egyptians considered themselves a red race and painted their bodies with red dye for emphasis.

Great Britain -In the English War of the Roses, red was the color of the House of Lancaster, which defeated the House of York, symbolized by the color white.

Greece - eggs are dyed red for good luck at Easter time.

India - symbol for a soldier

Italy -The “Redshirts” were the soldiers of the Italian leader Garibaldi, who unified modern Italy in the nineteenth century.

Native Americans -
General - faith, communication
Apache - passion, heart, warmth, emotions, porcupine
Cherokee - sacred fire, blood, success
Navajo - sacred color that represents sunlight

South Africa - mourning

Rome (ancient) - a red flag was a signal for battle.

Russia - red means beautiful. The Bolsheviks used a red flag as their symbol when they overthrew the tsar in 1917. That is how red became the color of communism.

United States -because of its visibility, stop signs, stoplights, brake lights, and fire equipment are all painted red.

Spiritual

Chakra:
Chakra One - earth, physical identity, oriented to self-preservation. Located at the base of the spine, this chakra forms our foundation. It represents the element earth, and is therefore related to survival instincts and to our sense of grounding and connection to our bodies and the physical plane. ideally this chakra brings health, properity, security, and dynamic presence.

Shaman:
Symbol of passion, anger, or danger depending on how it is used. It is the symbol for blood and if it is red earth, it is seen as sacred to Mother Earth. It can also represent sacrifice.

Astrology:
Gemini

Christian (stained glass):
Pure red is the color of divine love, of the holy spirit, of courage, self sacrifice, martyrdom, and all the warm impulses that belong to the great hearted everywhere. Red is the warm, active color.

Red is the color of the Seraphim - the first of the nine choirs of angels. The color that "glows".

Superstitious people think red frightens the devil.

Art
Red is love and war. It is hot. It conjures up a range of conflicting emotions from passion to violence. Red is cupid, red is the devil.

Red is a stimulant and is the hottest of the warm colors.

Red is used to grab attention and to get people to take action. Red should be used when you don't want something to sink into the background. Use red to suggest speed combined with confidence and perhaps even a dash of danger. A little bit of red goes a long way. Small doses can often be more effective than large amounts.

Red items in decorating and design must be perfect, since they attract attention.

When it comes to cars, there is a direct correlation between the color red and theft rate.

Red is an emotionally intense and very extreme color. Red clothing can be uplifting and can convey power and energy, but can also invite confrontation. A power color.

Red is extremely dominating. It should be used as an accent, not as a background.

Red rooms make people anxious, but rooms with a red accent can cause people to lose track of time. This they are favored by bars and casinos. Restaurants often use red as a decorating scheme because of its appetite stimulant function.

Language
Good Red:

• Red letter day - important or significant occasion
• Red carpet treatment - make someone feel special, treat them as if they are a celebrity
• Roll out the red carpet - same as red carpet treatment
• Paint the town red - celebrate
• Red eye - overnight flight

Bad Red:

• Seeing red - angry
• Red herring - something that deceives or distracts attention from the truth
• In the red - being overdrawn at the bank - or losing money
• Red flag - denotes danger, warning, or an impending battle.

Red Words:

Scarlet, crimson, vermillion, carmine, maroon, burgundy, ruby, rose, madder, rouge, brick, blood red, blush, fire engine red, cinnabar, russet, rust, Venetian red, flame, Indian red, tomato.

Psychology and Health:

Color and the Brain: red stimulates brain wave activity, increases the heart rate, respirations and blood pressure.

Red symbolizes heat, fire, blood, passion, love, warmth, power, excitement and agression. It has the effect of stimulating people to make quick decisions and increase expectations.